ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
WEDNESDAY, 23 APRIL 1975
You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before you'd finished typing.
The children have requested a second opinion. They'll be getting it in 2041, at their own expense.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Parenthood is a long journey from "mama" to "can you send money" to them…
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
- You are exactly where you're meant to be. That should frighten you more than…
- Sleep when the baby sleeps. Also pay the mortgage when the baby pays the…
- You've rewritten that text nine times to sound like you didn't care. It's been…
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
- You did the Mannequin Challenge again for old times' sake. The standing still was…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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