ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Rise and grind.
Your teeth have been grinding all night. Your dentist bought a boat.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
- Your teenager isn't ignoring everyone. Just you. You're saved in their phone as "Do…
- Good things come to those who wait. You waited so long they went to…
- Your favourite music is now called "a classic". So are you. It means old.
- You're "manifesting abundance". The only thing abundant is your payment reminders.
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
- Your 47 open tabs are an accurate map of your inner life. Someone will…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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