ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing.
When you leave, someone will fight over the plant.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Rise and grind. Your teeth have been grinding all night. Your dentist bought a…
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
- Your teenager isn't ignoring everyone. Just you. You're saved in their phone as "Do…
- Good things come to those who wait. You waited so long they went to…
- Your favourite music is now called "a classic". So are you. It means old.
- You're "manifesting abundance". The only thing abundant is your payment reminders.
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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