ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Everyone's bringing back the dog filter.
Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look on its own since March, and it doesn't come off when you close the app.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- Ghostlighting is when someone disappears for eight weeks and comes back with "you've been…
- Your chatbot calls every one of your ideas "a really insightful question". Zack has…
- Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing. When you…
- Rise and grind. Your teeth have been grinding all night. Your dentist bought a…
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
- Your teenager isn't ignoring everyone. Just you. You're saved in their phone as "Do…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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