ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
TUESDAY, 5 SEPTEMBER 1978
There's someone out there for everyone.
Yours married someone else in 2019. They look happy.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- Work smarter, not harder. You've chosen neither, and HR has a folder.
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
- Work smarter, not harder. You've chosen neither, and HR has a folder.
- Things will look better in the morning. No. They'll just be better lit.
- You've "romanticised your life". It's a candle, a croissant and a playlist called "main…
- "We should get dinner sometime" is a beautiful promise. One of you will die…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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