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ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED

DAILY DEMOTIVATION

A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.

ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION MONDAY, 11 SEPTEMBER 1978
Think outside the box.
The box had the budget. You're out here with a sticky note.

— Zack, unqualified

VERIFIED
UNHELPFUL

PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE

  1. You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
  2. The update is 200GB. Your free afternoon was smaller.
  3. You sent "lol" to avoid having feelings. It worked. You feel nothing, said nothing,…
  4. When you're gone, the one who misses you most will be the algorithm. It…
  5. You did the Mannequin Challenge again for old times' sake. The standing still was…
  6. There's someone out there for everyone. Yours married someone else in 2019. They look…
  7. Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.

THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR

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Newsletter / Issue No. 446

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