ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You say you're "an old soul".
You're 21. The only old thing about you is your phone's battery health.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- When you're gone, the one who misses you most will be the algorithm. It…
- Monday morning has the energy of a printer that knows you're in a hurry.…
- Think outside the box. The box had the budget. You're out here with a…
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
- The update is 200GB. Your free afternoon was smaller.
- You sent "lol" to avoid having feelings. It worked. You feel nothing, said nothing,…
- When you're gone, the one who misses you most will be the algorithm. It…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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