ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Monday morning has the energy of a printer that knows you're in a hurry.
The printer has better job security.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Think outside the box. The box had the budget. You're out here with a…
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
- The update is 200GB. Your free afternoon was smaller.
- You sent "lol" to avoid having feelings. It worked. You feel nothing, said nothing,…
- When you're gone, the one who misses you most will be the algorithm. It…
- You did the Mannequin Challenge again for old times' sake. The standing still was…
- There's someone out there for everyone. Yours married someone else in 2019. They look…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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