ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You typed "speak to an agent" nine times.
The bot sent you a help article about speaking to agents. The agents were let go in March.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
- You'll never get on the property ladder. The only plot you'll ever own is…
- You've "been meaning to" for three years. The thing you meant to do has…
- You don't have a spending problem. You have an income problem, and it's terminal.
- You bought the yoga mat. The cat uses it. The cat is more flexible,…
- You "don't believe in labels". You believe in being kept as an option.
- You say you're "an old soul". You're 21. The only old thing about you…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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