ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your 5am routine went viral.
You did it once, filmed it, and have slept until 11 every day since. The algorithm doesn't know. Your landlord does.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Love yourself first. Someone has to, and nobody else applied.
- A good night out now means home by ten. Nobody had to come and…
- You quit your job to "find yourself". Found you. You're on your parents' sofa,…
- Rise and grind. Your teeth have been grinding all night. Your dentist bought a…
- You typed "speak to an agent" nine times. The bot sent you a help…
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
- You'll never get on the property ladder. The only plot you'll ever own is…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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