ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The battle pass costs £9.99 a season.
Your childhood cost nothing and had better rewards.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Sleep when the baby sleeps. Also pay the mortgage when the baby pays the…
- You don't have a type. You have a pattern. Your friends have a group…
- You "love deeply". Mostly a fictional man who doesn't know you exist. Neither do…
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
- Money can't buy happiness. You'll never have enough to check.
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
- You can do anything you set your mind to. Your mind has set itself…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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