ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month.
The call took 94 minutes. You break even in 2031. They put it back up in 2027.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're "on a gap year". It's your third.
- Somebody, somewhere, is checking their phone hoping it's you. It's a debt collector.
- Every relationship has a honeymoon period. Yours was the walk from the bar to…
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- You have 47 tabs open. Three are jobs you'll never apply for, one's a…
- You said you're "booked and busy". Booked for a dentist you'll cancel. Busy rewatching…
- Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime. They said…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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