ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The return to office is completely optional.
So was the badge-swipe leaderboard, and yet there you are, ranked 41st. They're "reviewing" 41st.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You swore you'd never sound like your parents. You just said "because I said…
- Ghostlighting is when someone disappears for eight weeks and comes back with "you've been…
- You said you "thrive in a fast-paced environment". It took you three days to…
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- There's someone out there for everyone. Yours married someone else in 2019. They look…
- You "work best under pressure". You don't. You just only work under pressure.
- Till death do us part. Not a vow. A fixed-term contract with an unspecified…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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