ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
MONDAY, 29 MARCH 1982
"Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again."
That's also the plan for your job next quarter.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The consultation runs for twelve weeks. The decision was made in week zero.
- You're not broke. You're pre-rich. The "pre" is permanent.
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
- The customer is always right. The customer is also on hold, forever, which is…
- You quit your job to "find yourself". Found you. You're on your parents' sofa,…
- Your teenager isn't ignoring everyone. Just you. You're saved in their phone as "Do…
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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