ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Doom spending is buying a heated eye mask because the news was bad.
The news is still bad. Your eyes are warmer. So is your overdraft.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You said "we move". You've lived in the same bedroom since you were nine.
- You received 40 fundraising texts today. Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
- Remember when you stayed up late on purpose? Now you're up at 3am because…
- Work smarter, not harder. You've chosen neither, and HR has a folder.
- Your savings account isn't empty. It's a memorial.
- They're taking time away from social media. You know because they posted about it…
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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