ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your soft launch was a hand in a photo.
The hard launch never came. The hand has since soft-launched someone else.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Synergy is two departments confused about the same thing at once. They'll merge. You'll…
- You hyped your mate's mixtape. You've never listened to it. Neither has anyone. Including…
- Till death do us part. Not a vow. A fixed-term contract with an unspecified…
- Doom spending is buying a heated eye mask because the news was bad. The…
- You said "we move". You've lived in the same bedroom since you were nine.
- You received 40 fundraising texts today. Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
- Remember when you stayed up late on purpose? Now you're up at 3am because…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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