ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Kids grow up so fast.
Except between 5pm and bedtime, when time stops and you age a decade.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Lessons will be learned. By whom, and when, will also be learned. Eventually. Possibly.
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- Don't settle. Your standards already have. They didn't tell you.
- Age is just a number. So is your cholesterol, and it's climbing faster than…
- You're "so random". You've told the same "so random" story at every party since…
- Your soft launch was a hand in a photo. The hard launch never came.…
- Synergy is two departments confused about the same thing at once. They'll merge. You'll…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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