ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment.
The candles are outnumbering the years you've got left.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Don't settle. Your standards already have. They didn't tell you.
- Age is just a number. So is your cholesterol, and it's climbing faster than…
- You're "so random". You've told the same "so random" story at every party since…
- Your soft launch was a hand in a photo. The hard launch never came.…
- Synergy is two departments confused about the same thing at once. They'll merge. You'll…
- You hyped your mate's mixtape. You've never listened to it. Neither has anyone. Including…
- Till death do us part. Not a vow. A fixed-term contract with an unspecified…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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