ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
SATURDAY, 25 SEPTEMBER 1982
You're "so random".
You've told the same "so random" story at every party since 2022.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your soft launch was a hand in a photo. The hard launch never came.…
- Synergy is two departments confused about the same thing at once. They'll merge. You'll…
- You hyped your mate's mixtape. You've never listened to it. Neither has anyone. Including…
- Till death do us part. Not a vow. A fixed-term contract with an unspecified…
- Doom spending is buying a heated eye mask because the news was bad. The…
- You said "we move". You've lived in the same bedroom since you were nine.
- You received 40 fundraising texts today. Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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