ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped to the bar.
You replied in four minutes. That's the part he was counting on.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You said you're "so busy" this week. Your screen time says eleven hours a…
- The bins are now fortnightly. The council tax is still monthly.
- “Just one more game” of FIFA was the most dishonest sentence in the English…
- You film "Sunday reset" videos. By Tuesday your room has reset itself, to Saturday.
- You bought the yoga mat. The cat uses it. The cat is more flexible,…
- True love is choosing the same person every day. They're choosing, daily, whether to…
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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