ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Wisdom comes with age.
So does standing on the landing with no idea why you came upstairs, or exist.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're not broke. You're pre-rich. The "pre" is permanent.
- He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped…
- You said you're "so busy" this week. Your screen time says eleven hours a…
- The bins are now fortnightly. The council tax is still monthly.
- “Just one more game” of FIFA was the most dishonest sentence in the English…
- You film "Sunday reset" videos. By Tuesday your room has reset itself, to Saturday.
- You bought the yoga mat. The cat uses it. The cat is more flexible,…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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