ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You say you're "an old soul".
You're 21. The only old thing about you is your phone's battery health.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The customer is always right. The customer is also on hold, forever, which is…
- You said "it's giving" about your own life. It's giving overdraft. It's giving rent…
- Disrupt the industry. The industry will disrupt you back, then buy your logo for…
- The loot box has a 0.5% chance of something good. The studio has a…
- Beach body ready? The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't…
- Your savings account isn't empty. It's a memorial.
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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