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ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED

DAILY DEMOTIVATION

A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.

ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION WEDNESDAY, 13 OCTOBER 1982
Beach body ready?
The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't waiting for you.

— Zack, unqualified

VERIFIED
UNHELPFUL

PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE

  1. Your savings account isn't empty. It's a memorial.
  2. Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
  3. Wisdom comes with age. So does standing on the landing with no idea why…
  4. You're not broke. You're pre-rich. The "pre" is permanent.
  5. He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped…
  6. You said you're "so busy" this week. Your screen time says eleven hours a…
  7. The bins are now fortnightly. The council tax is still monthly.

THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR

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Newsletter / Issue No. 446

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