ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you.
It's not proud. It's given up. Even the bird has moved on.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
- Your out-of-office reply is the most confident thing you wrote all year. Nobody noticed…
- You "romanticise studying". You've filmed it, lit it and soundtracked it. You haven't studied.
- Strangers online have voted you "not wrong". The same strangers once voted to give…
- You received 40 fundraising texts today. Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
- Every summit sends a very strong signal. The planet keeps not receiving it.
- You say you're "an old soul". You're 21. The only old thing about you…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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