ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Good things come to those who wait.
You waited so long they went to someone who didn't.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- Every relationship has a honeymoon period. Yours was the walk from the bar to…
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- The bins are now fortnightly. The council tax is still monthly.
- Monday has its own support group. The group is everyone. The meetings are also…
- Some people run marathons. You run late, and you still come last.
- Move fast and break things. You broke the coffee machine, the budget and your…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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