ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
FRIDAY, 9 DECEMBER 1983
The return to office is completely optional.
So was the badge-swipe leaderboard, and yet there you are, ranked 41st. They're "reviewing" 41st.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
- You asked the internet whether you were the bad guy. The internet read the…
- Clear-coding means stating your intentions up front. Hers was "I have a hard stop…
- Monday morning has the energy of a printer that knows you're in a hurry.…
- Synergy is two departments confused about the same thing at once. They'll merge. You'll…
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- Your soft launch was a hand in a photo. The hard launch never came.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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