ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
FRIDAY, 16 DECEMBER 1983
Your call is important to us.
Not important enough to answer, but important.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Early access means you paid to watch someone not finish something. You do that…
- When life gives you lemons, it sends the invoice later. With interest.
- Treat yourself, they said. You did. Four times before lunch. Your pension felt every…
- Synergy is two departments confused about the same thing at once. They'll merge. You'll…
- They say sweat is weakness leaving the body. Yours has decided to stay.
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- The return to office is completely optional. So was the badge-swipe leaderboard, and yet…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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