ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You "don't believe in labels".
You believe in being kept as an option.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
- You said "that's so me" about a horoscope. It also described 600 million other…
- Being single means nobody steals your duvet. It also means the duvet is the…
- Love yourself first. Someone has to, and nobody else applied.
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
- You "don't do small talk". You also don't do big talk, phone calls, emails…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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