ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
TUESDAY, 26 FEBRUARY 1985
Every birthday is a gift.
The gift is one fewer birthday.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Someone laminated an "Acceptable Behaviour" poster for the office kitchen. It will still be…
- You're ageing like a fine wine. Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark,…
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
- They posted an apology in the Notes app. It was addressed to the fans.…
- It's not a career ladder. It's a hamster wheel. The hamster has a LinkedIn…
- You reinstalled Pokémon Go to get your steps up. Eleven kilometres later you'd caught…
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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