ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Money can't buy happiness.
You'll never have enough to check.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Mistakes were made. Nobody made them. They just happened, like weather.
- Every Monday you swear this week will be different. You've sworn it nine hundred…
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- Every great company started in a garage. Yours will end there too. The car's…
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
- Skipping your daily coffee won't buy you a house. Nothing will. Have the coffee.
- "It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English. It will be only…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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