ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month.
The call took 94 minutes. You break even in 2031. They put it back up in 2027.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The consultation runs for twelve weeks. The decision was made in week zero.
- Your fitness journey started on the second of January. It ended on the fourth.…
- Coffee doesn't fix Monday. It just makes sure you're fully conscious for it.
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
- You'll never get on the property ladder. The only plot you'll ever own is…
- You "romanticise studying". You've filmed it, lit it and soundtracked it. You haven't studied.
- Your company's core values are printed on the wall. So nobody has to have…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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