ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
MONDAY, 23 MARCH 1987
Your resting heart rate is excellent.
It's had nothing else to do.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Remember when you stayed up late on purpose? Now you're up at 3am because…
- Coffee doesn't fix Monday. It just makes sure you're fully conscious for it.
- Think outside the box. The box had the budget. You're out here with a…
- The weekend is two days long. Monday is nine emotional days long, and you're…
- 2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees…
- Monday is a core collaboration day. As, it turns out, is every day ending…
- You have a "comfort show". You've watched it 11 times. You've seen your friends…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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