ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
SUNDAY, 29 MARCH 1987
Remember when you stayed up late on purpose?
Now you're up at 3am because your knee filed a complaint.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're "in your villain era". You returned a lukewarm coffee and apologised four times.…
- You sent "lol" to avoid having feelings. It worked. You feel nothing, said nothing,…
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- You put "open to work" on LinkedIn. Six recruiters viewed your profile. Five were…
- Every subscription you forgot about still thinks of you monthly. That's more than your…
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
- Remember when you stayed up late on purpose? Now you're up at 3am because…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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