ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You pre-ordered it for the cape.
The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Dress for the job you want. The job you have will see you in…
- You're "in your villain era". You returned a lukewarm coffee and apologised four times.…
- Your Candy Crush streak is on day 212. The game hasn't been fun since…
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
- Someone laminated an "Acceptable Behaviour" poster for the office kitchen. It will still be…
- You "can't do mornings". You also can't do afternoons, evenings or emails.
- You said "this is my year". You've said it since 2019. The years have…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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