ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Inside every older person is a younger person.
The younger person is furious about the knees.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Make your money work for you. Yours quit in 2019. It works for your…
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
- You "love deeply". Mostly a fictional man who doesn't know you exist. Neither do…
- The light at the end of the tunnel is someone asking, "Can you see…
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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