ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your step counter used to set goals.
Now it just sends "Hello?" like a relative checking you're still alive.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- Your fitness journey started on the second of January. It ended on the fourth.…
- He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped…
- Your fitness journey started on the second of January. It ended on the fourth.…
- Mistakes were made. The Notes app has never once said by whom.
- Running clears your head. Mostly of the idea that you're a runner.
- You went "no contact" with your ex. You still check their Spotify. They're listening…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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