ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
SATURDAY, 12 SEPTEMBER 1987
You sent "lol" to avoid having feelings.
It worked. You feel nothing, said nothing, and lost the person who asked how you were.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Every relationship has a honeymoon period. Yours was the walk from the bar to…
- Inside every older person is a younger person. The younger person is furious about…
- Make your money work for you. Yours quit in 2019. It works for your…
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
- You "love deeply". Mostly a fictional man who doesn't know you exist. Neither do…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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