ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
MONDAY, 11 JANUARY 1988
The weekend is two days long.
Monday is nine emotional days long, and you're paid for one.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Every relationship has a honeymoon period. Yours was the walk from the bar to…
- Your chatbot calls every one of your ideas "a really insightful question". Zack has…
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
- Sleep when the baby sleeps. Also pay the mortgage when the baby pays the…
- You're ageing like a fine wine. Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark,…
- Your call is important to us. Not important enough to answer, but important.
- Monday motivation is a myth. Like the Loch Ness Monster, a clean office microwave,…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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