ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Romance isn't dead.
It just stopped waiting for a reply to your "hey" from 2022.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You've "found your aesthetic". It's beige. It's always beige.
- The weekend is two days long. Monday is nine emotional days long, and you're…
- Every relationship has a honeymoon period. Yours was the walk from the bar to…
- Your chatbot calls every one of your ideas "a really insightful question". Zack has…
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
- Sleep when the baby sleeps. Also pay the mortgage when the baby pays the…
- You're ageing like a fine wine. Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark,…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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