ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
WEDNESDAY, 6 APRIL 1988
You said "my For You page knows me so well".
It knows you're awake and lonely at 2 a.m. That's not a gift. That's data.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Consistency is key. You've said "I'll go tomorrow" for three years. It's the only…
- You don't have a spending problem. You have an income problem, and it's terminal.
- You hyped your mate's mixtape. You've never listened to it. Neither has anyone. Including…
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- Don't settle. Your standards already have. They didn't tell you.
- Parenthood is a long journey from "mama" to "can you send money" to them…
- You spent £400 on an ergonomic chair. You sit on it like a frog.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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