ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
"We should get dinner sometime" is a beautiful promise.
One of you will die first. It'll still be pending.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- They say sweat is weakness leaving the body. Yours has decided to stay.
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- The first email you open on Monday is a reply-all from Friday. Forty replies.…
- You're "manifesting abundance". The only thing abundant is your payment reminders.
- They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands. It will be the…
- You said "we move". You've lived in the same bedroom since you were nine.
- You can't take money with you when you go. Your direct debits, however, will…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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