ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands.
It will be the most productive minute of the quarter.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You said "we move". You've lived in the same bedroom since you were nine.
- You can't take money with you when you go. Your direct debits, however, will…
- You've "romanticised your life". It's a candle, a croissant and a playlist called "main…
- The bins are now fortnightly. The council tax is still monthly.
- Sleep when the baby sleeps. Also pay the mortgage when the baby pays the…
- You deleted the app "for good". That was 40 minutes ago. You've reinstalled it…
- Your boss hasn't taken a sick day in ten years. He has, however, given…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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