ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your toddler has stronger opinions about sock seams
than you've had about anything since 2011.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Coffee doesn't fix Monday. It just makes sure you're fully conscious for it.
- "We should get dinner sometime" is a beautiful promise. One of you will die…
- They say sweat is weakness leaving the body. Yours has decided to stay.
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- The first email you open on Monday is a reply-all from Friday. Forty replies.…
- You're "manifesting abundance". The only thing abundant is your payment reminders.
- They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands. It will be the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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