ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your back now goes out when you sneeze.
It goes out more than you do.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- A good night out now means home by ten. Nobody had to come and…
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
- Your fitness journey started on the second of January. It ended on the fourth.…
- A full review is ongoing. Ongoing is a very comfortable place for a review…
- The award show ran four hours. The only winner was the advert break.
- Synergy is two departments confused about the same thing at once. They'll merge. You'll…
- Your financial advisor is a spreadsheet you opened once in January. It's been screaming…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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