ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Kids grow up so fast.
Except between 5pm and bedtime, when time stops and you age a decade.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Monday motivation is a myth. Like the Loch Ness Monster, a clean office microwave,…
- You'll leave your children everything you have. It's mostly a bread maker and an…
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- You "don't do small talk". You also don't do big talk, phone calls, emails…
- You said "my For You page knows me so well". It knows you're awake…
- You call yourself "a bit of a foodie". You've ordered the same chicken 64…
- Somebody, somewhere, is checking their phone hoping it's you. It's a debt collector.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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