ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your step counter used to set goals.
Now it just sends "Hello?" like a relative checking you're still alive.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You "don't do small talk". You also don't do big talk, phone calls, emails…
- You said "my For You page knows me so well". It knows you're awake…
- You call yourself "a bit of a foodie". You've ordered the same chicken 64…
- Somebody, somewhere, is checking their phone hoping it's you. It's a debt collector.
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- A good night out now means home by ten. Nobody had to come and…
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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