ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
A tidy playroom lasts exactly as long as it takes to photograph.
The photo will outlast your sanity.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- Your chatbot calls every one of your ideas "a really insightful question". Zack has…
- You "grew out of" your old friends. They grew out of waiting for you…
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- Treat yourself, they said. You did. Four times before lunch. Your pension felt every…
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
- “Too close to call” means nobody knows. It is said by people paid a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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