ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You wanted a mini-me.
You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost to you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You got a houseplant to "take care of something". It died. Even the plant…
- “Just one more game” of FIFA was the most dishonest sentence in the English…
- The update is 200GB. Your free afternoon was smaller.
- Every birthday is a gift. The gift is one fewer birthday.
- Hard work pays off eventually. It's paying off right now. Your boss just bought…
- The light at the end of the tunnel is someone asking, "Can you see…
- Treat yourself, they said. You did. Four times before lunch. Your pension felt every…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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