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ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED

DAILY DEMOTIVATION

A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.

ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION FRIDAY, 3 MARCH 1989
“Just one more game” of FIFA was the most dishonest sentence in the English language.
Then they renamed it. The sentence survived.

— Zack, unqualified

VERIFIED
UNHELPFUL

PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE

  1. The update is 200GB. Your free afternoon was smaller.
  2. Every birthday is a gift. The gift is one fewer birthday.
  3. Hard work pays off eventually. It's paying off right now. Your boss just bought…
  4. The light at the end of the tunnel is someone asking, "Can you see…
  5. Treat yourself, they said. You did. Four times before lunch. Your pension felt every…
  6. You call your mum "for advice". You call her for the Netflix password.
  7. You received 40 fundraising texts today. Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.

THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR

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Newsletter / Issue No. 446

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