ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The in-office lunch is optional.
The man with the clipboard and no sandwich is writing down who didn't come. Then who did, but looked replaceable.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You swore you'd never sound like your parents. You just said "because I said…
- You left them on read "to be mysterious". They didn't notice. They were also…
- The weekend is two days long. Monday is nine emotional days long, and you're…
- You don't have a type. You have a pattern. Your friends have a group…
- You don't have a type. You have a pattern. Your friends have a group…
- Your chatbot calls every one of your ideas "a really insightful question". Zack has…
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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